Blankets
“People don’t change.” “I need something to eat.” “All guys are like that.” “All men are liars.” “I love these shoes.”
One of my pet peeves happens to be generalized comments that people will just say flippantly. Take for instance, “people don’t change.” While many people don’t, I have known some who have. On top of that I have some friends that are making changes right now and seeing real results. To think that people don’t change would be to just assume that they will fail. …. What kind of friend would that make me? Or what about “I need to a piece of pie.” Really? A piece of pie? You need it? When I took a group of students to India I ran into the word “need” a lot. I realized then that there isn’t much that we actually do need. Food. Water. Shelter, but not every minute. Love. Oxygen. There are not really specific types of food that are needed either, just enough to nourish us so we don’t die. And do you really “love” that pair of shoes? If you had them, would your life be fulfilled? Could you be with those shoes on a deserted island and find all the companionship in them that you need? I am pretty sure those shoes won’t love you back.
I am just as much at fault for making blanket statements as the next guy, but sometimes I get really hot when I hear them. Like, “all men are liars” for example. What is that saying really? That I will never be honest so always assume the opposite of what I have to say? That despite all my attempts to become a better person I am doomed because of my gender. Really?
I think one of the reasons I get upset is because I have often been the exception to some of these statements. “All guys are jerks, but not you Joseph, your the exception.” If I am the exception, does that mean I am a girl but still a jerk? Or a guy but not a jerk? Either way I still feel offended. If I am not a jerk and a guy, then the first part of your statement is false. So why say it?
Too many times we categorize people or assume the worst. Even if the statement is partially true, we insult all those that don’t fit by saying it as if it was absolutely true. You don’t hear people saying “85 percent of the male population are jerks.” Or “74 percent of what 61 percent of males say is a lie.” Why not? These statements don’t have as much umph. I know it is just poetic license sometimes, but I just hate it. Maybe it is my preference for being literal, but I wish we could all just say simple that are built upon the solid truth, instead of powerful statements built up on sand.
Honestly there are some people I have no respect for based simply on blanket statements they have said. I am still friends with them, but have no respect of their opinion. If you really think you need this, love that, or that all things are easily grouped together, then you are missing out on the beautiful complexity that is life. Not all clover has three leaves, but the majority do. Just because all the books on the shelf have the same brown leather cover, doesn’t mean they tell the same story. Just because I have a “Y” chromosome doesn’t mean I am a liar, jerk, two faced player scumbag that can never change.
I know I make generalizations too, but come on people, isn’t that what the Civil War and the Holocaust were all about? Fighting to prove that generalizations are bad? So next time you make a statement about “all” anybody, stop and look around you, cause someone may have just lost respect for you and put you in generalized group of “anybodies.”
